Love Languages

I first heard about love languages about 20 years ago in pre-marriage counseling with my husband. I remember doing a short quiz and sharing with each other how we most enjoyed receiving love from others. Since then The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman has become a hit book and fairly common main street conversation. If you haven't heard about this concept here's a quick summary: Just like we have different learning styles we each have different ways that we like being loved. These five ways have been identified as talk, touch, time, service and gifts. Each person has a preference as to how they like to have love communicated. Often, when we aren't aware of another persons primary love language we will offer love in the way we like to receive love. This is why it is so helpful to share in a relationship your preferences as it allows greater intimacy when we know how to specifically meet each others love needs. (There is nothing that causes more relational insanity than waiting for someone to read your mind!)

So, here is a fun activity to do with your family, spouse or family of friends.

Sit together for a meal and give each person a short love language quiz that looks like this:

What is your love language?
_ Time (spend time with people you love)
_ Talk (expressions of love and conversation)
_ Touch (physical affection and intimacy)
_ Gift (meaningful or thoughtful gifts)
_Service (someone doing something for you)

Ask each person to rank these in order from what makes them feel most loved to least loved. Then, go around the table and talk about each person's answer, even asking for an example so you can really see what expressions are meaningful. My family did this during our Valentine's meal and it was so amazing to hear what my kids and spouse had to say! Their answers offered a vital peek into how to make sure I am touching their hearts in a personal way on a daily basis. This is so simple and yet really powerful. Give it a try!