Delete

The other day I was driving in the car with my daughter when she announced from the back seat that she had decided to delete her family. My daughter is a pre-teen and has recently enjoyed playing SIMS, a computer game that allows you to simulate a whole world of your own making. Out of frustration with the life she had created it seemed that the only solution was to now delete the family and start all over again.
I asked her what the problem was and she explained that she created a husband that was interested in family but when she created his personality she had to make him more lazy in order to have enough points to also make him more neat. Confusing, I know, but these were the trade offs in the creation of the personality profile (not so far from reality, huh?) Anyway, as a result she was the only one with a job, the husband wasn't changing, bathing or feeding the baby, he was falling asleep on the kitchen floor and they were in jeopardy of needing to sell the dog in order to make it. I should note, however, that he was cleaning up his dishes. My daughter felt stuck and I felt like I was in the middle of a couple's therapy session. Actually, quite often couples come to see me when they are faced with the solution of deleting the relationship after months or years of feeling stuck.

I asked my daughter what other options she would have, beyond deleting, even though they weren't available in the game. She said I would either talk to him, have a therapist come to our home or take a vacation. Clever and viable. When clients come to my office they are often in need of these three things: a good heart to heart, a mediator to help them hear each other and a little time away from the problem in order to get perspective. In real life we have access to all of those solutions. You have access. Take it before deletion seems like the only solution.